So today's neat sweet treat to get your tongue to move its feet is Lollyphile's! Bourbon Lollipop.
Now, bourbon has a reputation. It's a Tough'n'Rough-All-American-What-Did-You-Just-Say-About-My-Mother-Mother-Fucker kinda booze. It's the kind of drink that burly backwoods gentlemen guzzle in boxcars while Home On The Range wheezes from a broken harmonica.
So then why the hell does the bourbon lollipop taste like sugar, cream, and angel farts?
The Look: The lolly is a nice soothing off white (which is not how it looks in the promo shot), suggestive more of pina coladas than bourbon. Honestly not much more to say, it's fairly non-descript compared to the gorgeous green of the Absinthe or the fucked up Franken-pop of the Maple-Bacon.
The Flavour: Well not like fucking bourbon for starters. It basically just tastes of sweet, caramelized sugar. Frankly it felt no different than the pops you can get at the dentists. Unlike the absinthe lolly I didn't detect any trace of the alcohol, which might have given the sugary flavour a slightly unique edge. Putting it bluntly, had I not been told this was bourbon flavoured, I never would have guessed. And even having been told, I still want to call Lollyphile! liars.
Should you buy it?: I've had some trouble writing this review. It's been almost impossible to find anything interesting to say about this sweet. And that pretty much sums up the whole experience. Tasty? Yeah I guess so, but in a kind of inoffensive and harmless way. There is genuinely little to recommend about this lollipop, particularly considering it's supposed to be made out of badass bourbon, which is how Lollyphile! are trying to sell it (see the photo). But really? This is less guzzling a bottle of hobo booze and more like licking Charlie Brown's head.
Comin' Soon: Lollyphile! -or- How I Learned To Feel The Burn
-Dashiell 'And I Like Vanilla' Asher
Image Courtesy of www.lollyphile.com
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